Neurodivergent life
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Floodplains
Much of Brisbane is built on a floodplain. Probably wasn’t a very good idea, but here we are. The Brisbane River snakes through this pocket of south east Queensland, and in my little neck of the woods, Kedron Brook is like its baby, matching the curled and winding body of its parent. I love this Continue reading
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Carrots and sticks in education – a complaint about purpose being lost in systems.
One of the complicated things I’ve learned during the Free2Homeschool campaign is about something called the National School Reform Agreement. Now, I’m not part of any school, and my kids don’t get any government funding, so why does it matter to me? It turns out it’s relevant, and it goes like this. The National School Continue reading
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We don’t need no curriculum! Hey! Queensland! Leave those kids alone!
I am an accidental homeschooler. We are an unexpectedly homeschooling family. Because of our precious child’s complex needs, that’s where we have ended up and it’s actually fantastic. Today we’ve been to the library and a six year old could search the catalogue himself, because he’s a great reader and has excellent computer skills. The Continue reading
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Painful practice
We were watching the beginning of Frozen. I’d never actually seen the early scenes where the sisters’ parents respond to Anna being accidentally hurt by Elsa. I was kind of shocked, but not, because this is based on a Hans Christian Andersen story, right? And it’s Disney, right? Anyway, kind of shocked that after taking Continue reading
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The Water Doesn’t Matter
Somewhere along the line, parents absorb the message that kids ought not to splash water out of the bath. Splashing is fun, and baths aren’t big enough, so happy splashes are probably going to wet the floor. But, depending on the kid, it’s doable to tone it down and keep the water in the bath. Continue reading
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Slow build, PDA style
This activity was three years in the making. I didn’t know the time had arrived today, until it arrived. I didn’t know I had a story to share today, until it grew itself in my kitchen. This is a photo of my three and six year old kids, standing together on a single chair in Continue reading
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Anger – the child/It’s not time
We live in a world of haste. Doing things quick, getting there, sorting it out, being there, NOW. I have a speedy, excited, creative, and usually overwhelmed ADHD brain. I often do want to be ‘there’ now or to hurry someone else up because either my brain has already moved on, or to the conclusion, Continue reading
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Permission not required; recognition appreciated
One morning each week, I take my younger child to the loveliest nature play community for young kids and parents, down by our local creek. It’s a forest school and the reason it works as well as it does for my family is that the parents are part of it with their kids the whole Continue reading
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Anger – the parent
I can be pretty painfully real with my older child. He sees some very unfiltered displays of frustration from me. I really worry some days that despite everything, I’m damaging him and shaming him purely by what is created by him plus me. Sometimes I think we are an explosive combination. And this is my Continue reading
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Anger – the energy
Anger is a complicated emotion for me. Somehow it became an umbrella term for a range of emotions that are not actually anger, but that I confused with it because of a shared intensity amongst them. Add to that, I heard so many times that my words, tone, and behaviour looked angry to others, and Continue reading
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There are words!
Our turn finally came! Fidgets and Fries, ‘A Day With No Words’ winged its way across the world to Brisbane, Australia, and straight into our loungeroom. My kids are six and three and the older one rarely stays for a story or anything else, especially not if I’m the one to suggest it. But Tiffy, Continue reading
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Honour the drive
HONOUR THE DRIVE I was always called ‘intense’, and it wasn’t really a compliment. Frustration about stopping a task or being interrupted is often used as a criticism of people, and it even features in diagnostic criteria of autism in childhood evaluations. The common view seems to be that it is evidence of being self-absorbed, Continue reading
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Being child-led is no easy option
It’s hard to be child-led. In parenting, education, or in any other scenario, child-led learning isn’t checking out, giving up, or lack of care. It’s anything but that die-hard pejorative term of the eighties, ‘permissive parenting’. The deepest challenge of a child-led, child-loving-and-raising life on an average day is that it confronts my own preferences, Continue reading
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There are actually eight senses
There are actually eight sensory systems in the human body, and the three that don’t get talked about are possibly the most important for neurodivergent people. Continue reading
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Secret Weapons
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou Trigger warning: media coverage and education about topics of consent, sex, and sexual assault. … Whoever you are, there is a reason to watch Asking For It, the three part documentary on SBS by Australian journalist Jess Continue reading
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Dylan Moran reckons we got this
“I can feel pieces of my brain falling away like a wet cake.” (Dylan Moran as Bernard Black in Black Books.) The first time I saw Dylan Moran perform live was in 2011. My brothers and another friend and I were crossing the road from the car park over to the performing arts centre, and Continue reading
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Compass
When my son learned how to play Minecraft, I couldn’t get my head around it, nor could I keep up with what he was learning. He kept getting lost and not being able to find his way back home within his world. A friend (young enough that they grew up playing the game) showed him Continue reading
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A canticle for M.
Whatever the outcome, this was it. Not a foregone conclusion, not fated, not unchangeable right now, but this present, living reality, is the outcome. What if you fail? What will have been the point? All the effort, sacrifice, stress, and time… so much time. If you fail, I will say there was still a point, Continue reading
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Horse whisperer
Trigger warning: mention of child going to hospital; medical stress; carer experiences. This was written in July 2022. From September 2021, our family went through things with our child I would never wish on anyone. While we had already gone deep in understanding neurodivergence, and in particular, what things are so particularly important for a Continue reading
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Nothing special
Always the support act, never the show. Always the chorus, never the lead. Always the movement but never the voice. What were you hoping for? Recognition? What were you doing? Vying for praise? Why were you trying? What longing is this? Oh yes, the community lost. By telling a story, you thought you’d come home. Continue reading
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Loopholes for Shepherds
The story goes that when one of the flock is lost, the shepherd goes looking, finds it, and brings the lost sheep home, carrying it over their shoulders. Unless, there’s a justification not to? A flock of sheep lived in a field. Some sheep in the flock had a young lamb who was often sad. Continue reading
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Vision
I’ve had my day completely derailed and dominated by an optometrist appointment gone wrong, because they simply didn’t listen to what I said I needed. I mean, the actual point of the glasses. On the verge of meltdown, I left the store and told them they would need to ring me to sort it out. Continue reading
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Watershed
I lost my grandmother, Loma, five years ago today, 5 March. Three years ago, also on 5 March, our incredible daughter was born in a powerful rush on a nature strip in suburban Brisbane, with the sound of the wind in the trees above and the roar of her mother bringing her out into the Continue reading
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The other side of darkness
20 February 2023 Location: somewhere on the north coast of NSW. Last night we went and got an ice cream two minutes before the shop closed and started to walk down to the beach to eat it, but then it started raining, so we hopped in the car and drove a few places looking for Continue reading
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Broken waves
At no point in the last two years could I imagine running on sand with my two children, hearing them laugh, watching them fall over in water and get up again, still laughing. I could not imagine it ever happening. Nor could I imagine that we would have been able to drive a few hours Continue reading
A Thousand Thoughts 