A Thousand Thoughts

The story goes that when one of the flock is lost, the shepherd goes looking, finds it, and brings the lost sheep home, carrying it over their shoulders. Unless, there’s a justification not to?

A flock of sheep lived in a field. Some sheep in the flock had a young lamb who was often sad. The sadness grew as the lamb grew, and the lamb became very unwell. The lamb’s parents did everything they could to care for the lamb, but the problems seemed complex and there were no quick solutions. The field was home for the sheep with the sad lamb, but the noise and the crowd of the busy flock increased the lamb’s distress, so the parents set up camp somewhere not so far away, and kept him company. The sheep cared for their lamb night and day and never stopped looking for the right kind of help. There was no time for rest or anything else. This went on for many months, with each day as bleak as the last. 

From time to time the sheep with the sad lamb would hear from one of the flock, asking ‘are things well yet?’. The sheep with the sad lamb answered honestly and said no. They grew increasingly distressed by the questions and wondered why their plight seemed so misunderstood or just disbelieved.

The sheep with the sad lamb kept looking and looking, determined to save their lamb. The shepherds heard the sheep crying out, in their love and their grief, but led the flock away, and closed the gate to the field. The shepherds and the flock didn’t tell the sheep not to come back, but they assumed they wouldn’t. Being a sheep meant being part of the flock. Being part of the flock meant being in the field.

Eventually, the searching sheep found help for the lamb, and the lamb began to grow again, his tears dried up, and he started to run and play like the lamb he was. The sheep with the lamb cried tears of relief and exhaustion. They had carried their lamb well and knew they would carry him further still. By this time, the flock had stopped asking the sheep anything. The sheep cried tears about that, too. 

In their home outside the gate, they met other sheep and other animals who had been wandering, who had injuries and stories. They found comfort and acceptance and space for grief, and eventually, friendships. But the loss of the flock was heavy. 

The shepherds and flock assumed that the sheep with the lamb made a choice. The sheep with the lamb felt they had had no choice at all. 

When does the shepherd not search for lost sheep? If the sheep are not lost; if the lost are not sheep. A conscious non-sheep never belonged in the flock. The field is not home.

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Don’t tell me I’m lost. 

I was, but not your kind of lost. Perhaps we agree that the field was never home. Sobbing through the wilderness, I didn’t know that I just hadn’t found home YET, and it lay ahead. 

I’ll carry the lost, I’ll carry the broken. I’ll bear you on my shoulders, I’ll carry the wounded while they find their way home.